“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes” (James 4:14).
None of this is making sense
Where’s the rain?
God, clear the clutter in my brain!
A gifted athlete
With super fast feet
Lashes that reach His sky
His tender touch
Asking how my day is instead of asking for much
Why him and not me?
I can take the Crohn’s disease
This grey haze
Feelings fusing with faith
Casting confusion as we lose our way
Come quickly, Lord
Do not delay
On my mama knees I pray
Your will be done
Your Kingdom come
On earth as it is in heaven
Help us believe
Your plans are at work in us from above
I lift my Jackson
To Your holy throne
Lay his broken body … not to atone
Your Son so we shall live
I plead for mercy
To lift this fog
And for Your hands to heal, my God
Yes, we fear You
Hearts adore You
We wonder in our humanness, what purpose have You
In taking Jackson
To give him pain and suffering
“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed” (1 Peter 4:12-13).
There is no doubt any chronic disease tests our faith. I watch my Jackson have hope, then lose it. I listen to his concerns about his body and his questions about whether he will still have Crohn’s when he dies. I love my Jesus more than anything, and I will continue to knock and ask and ask and knock. I am painfully aware God may have a specific plan with this disease so it won’t go away until His purpose is reached.
If you have a chronic physical disease, I see you.
If you have depression, anxiety or PTSD, I see you.
If you don’t know Jesus, I see you.
God changed my entire life. I have hope because Jesus is my Living Hope. I just need to cling to Him and His truth to stay sane through a disease that is not even mine.
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The photo in this post is mine.
I am a vessel for Jesus, a Christian speaker/writer/poet. I would love to talk with you about your next event.