Our Jackson

“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes” (James 4:14).

~

Thick

Dense

None of this is making sense

 

Foggy faith

Where’s the rain?

God, clear the clutter in my brain!

 

Our son

A gifted athlete

With super fast feet

 

A blondie

Twinkling eyes

Lashes that reach His sky

 

Jackson’s smile

His tender touch

Asking how my day is instead of asking for much

 

Why, Lord?

Why him and not me?

I can take the Crohn’s disease

 

This grey haze

Feelings fusing with faith

Casting confusion as we lose our way

 

Come quickly, Lord

Do not delay

On my mama knees I pray

 

Your will be done

Your Kingdom come

On earth as it is in heaven

 

Help us believe

Your love

Your plans are at work in us from above

 

I lift my Jackson

To Your holy throne

Lay his broken body … not to atone

 

Our sins

You sacrificed

Your Son so we shall live

 

I plead for mercy

To lift this fog

And for Your hands to heal, my God

 

Yes, we fear You

Hearts adore You

We wonder in our humanness, what purpose have You

 

In taking Jackson

At thirteen

To give him pain and suffering

~

“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed” (1 Peter 4:12-13).

~

There is no doubt any chronic disease tests our faith. I watch my Jackson have hope, then lose it. I listen to his concerns about his body and his questions about whether he will still have Crohn’s when he dies. I love my Jesus more than anything, and I will continue to knock and ask and ask and knock. I am painfully aware God may have a specific plan with this disease so it won’t go away until His purpose is reached.

If you have a chronic physical disease, I see you.

If you have depression, anxiety or PTSD, I see you.

If you don’t know Jesus, I see you.

God changed my entire life. I have hope because Jesus is my Living Hope. I just need to cling to Him and His truth to stay sane through a disease that is not even mine.

Feel free to comment here or email me at juliedibblespeaks@gmail.com.

The photo in this post is mine.

I am a vessel for Jesus, a Christian speaker/writer/poet. I would love to talk with you about your next event.

In Christ,

Julie

https://juliedibblewrites.wordpress.com

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