A merry go-round
of emotion
Constant motion
Shiny stallions, gleaming hope
Dipping down on their fake rope
Then the dizzy
Confusion, the busy
Tremors
Burning embers
Brooding
An explosion looming
Music, a melody
Truth or a parody?
Tuning out
My eyes fall closed
I imagine
His wings gently shielding
Soul-slowing
Ever-knowing
To whom I belong
Up from my painted toes sings a glory song
~~~
Even when our feelings change, we have the same God. Some of us who are sensitive to others’ pain, our feelings change many times in the stretch of a day. I am thankful for Jesus, who is my anchor. Belonging to Him is the hope and the rope that steadies me. Though I take antidepressants, I lean into Jesus more when depression starts to show itself.
I am uncertain if I ever will be able to stop antidepressants.
For now, this day, my safety is primarily due to both Jesus and the medicine. My family and friends are important, too.
If you are considering suicide, you matter to God because He created you. We need you in this world. Please call for help ASAP.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or go to a local ER.
Thank you for your truthful and vulnerable sharing and for reaching out to others with the many ways God helps us, both through our doctors and grounded in the hope of Jesus. God is the one who has gifted those doctors he puts in our lives. We praise him for this, too. And then Jesus gives us hope that supercedes this world and all we face here. But for now, we thank God for every small blessing that comforts, helps, strengthens and lifts us body, mind and spirit. God bless you, dear Julie!
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Thank you so much sister. I write as He leads. Often it is the deep, hard stuff. Missy, I received this blessing you so graciously offered. And yes, thanking Jesus for the doctors and the medicine He created knowing we would need it.
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